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Author Topic: Mobotropolis' Writing Den (Scrapped and WIP Material)  (Read 1724 times)

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Offline Mobotropolis

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Mobotropolis' Writing Den (Scrapped and WIP Material)
« on: September 18, 2016, 12:17:22 AM »
I originally posted most of this stuff on not-a-Klonoa-forum. That was silly.

Now I'm making a thread for my WIP and Abandoned stuff here in hopes of getting feedback.

What's Cooking in the Kitchen

Here's a short-list of the stuff I'm working on.

Current Focus - Klonoa 20 Anniversary Fics

I knew I wanted to do something for Klonoa's 20th in 2017. After playing around with several ideas I decided to stick to writing.

Last Updated: January 27th 2017

Anniversary Story - A Romance Novel. You can probably guess.
Status: Finally getting started. Will release after the V-day series.

Anniversary Series - A Seven Part Series of one-shots that will be released in February 2017. That is not a hint.
Status: The Final Outline is done.

1. The Date (Complete)
2. The Proposal (Complete)
3. The Confession (Rewriting)
4. The Breakup (Rewriting)
5. The Goodbye (Complete)
6. The Dance (Complete)
7. The Vow (Complete)

Everything Else - On the back-burner for now

A Special Project!

I'll actually commit to it if I keep up with my writing.
The outline's already done. Just have to proceed with testing.

More from the Beta Version of " Home " -

A retelling of " The Incident " between Butz and Janga. I have a complete version from Guntz's perspective. While editing I realized that it would be better to tell it from Janga's perspective so I'm starting over.
Status: I already started on the first draft of the rewrite.

A story about Lolo and Popka. Going to be a stand alone on-shot.
Status: Final Outline was written months ago. Just need to get around to writing it.

I am debating revising Chapter 11 of Beta-Home as a one-shot. I have a very rough version of it already on the drive. Just have to clean it up and restructure some things to make it more suitable as a stand alone story.
« Last Edit: January 29, 2017, 08:39:41 PM by Mobotropolis »

Offline Mobotropolis

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Re: Mobotropolis' Writing Den (Scrapped and WIP Material)
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2016, 12:17:57 AM »
Beta Version of " Home "

In the Spring something or another revived my interest in writing for a certain fandom. I think I came across some cute art and started a stockpile that got the wheels turning again. In any case, I went back to the hole of fanfiction and re-read pretty much everything in the section. Since there were less than 200 stories and most were short-form it didn't take much longer than two weeks. I also read the forum posts and most of the reviews.

In particular I found a review that I had written for a short story called Thanks to You. That story inspired me to start thinking up a spinoff. The general idea was to make a sequel to Heroes that took place between the time our group returned from the Moon to Klonoa's death in this story. The story like Thanks to You would be about Guntz, not Klonoa, and his difficulties adjusting to having a normal life. Since by the author's own admission it was supposed to be a shipping fic I did the outline with a romantic angle but sought to divert from certain things common with this pairing.

I started out with three goals:

1. Lighter and Softer. To not mince words ... the majority of Klonoa/Guntz fics out there are angsty. Even my own couldn't escape it completely. The first goal was to write a story with tension where neither side was particularly angsty. The first draft of this had a bittersweet ending that I revised into something more positive. There are author notes below.

2. Romance from Guntz's perspective. Another common trend in this pairing is that Klonoa is often the one to initiate first contact since he's more outgoing. We also don't get much into how Guntz feels about things. Since this story is told from Guntz's perspective I aimed to portray a character that was gradually falling in love, reluctant to act, and then accepting of their growing feelings.

3. Things are better for Lolo. @Artsy was right. Shippers of this particular flavor tend to treat the romantic rival (Lolo) like trash. The one thing that bothered me the most in the previous story was Lolo's treatment. I wanted to mend the relationship between these three characters who should be friends and thought I was mostly successful in the outline. I'm actually going to go further in future works since I have come around and want them to all be friends.

After starting the outline I added a fourth goal that will not be shared or spoken of in great detail here. I wanted to tackle another aspect that is not typically covered in a bonus chapter and actually got pretty far in a draft of it.

Why This Was Shelved: It was a battle from the very beginning trying to get this thing off the ground. The outline came together in about a week. A few days later I started writing out chapters but found myself struggling to reach my quotas. The finished story was supposed to be about twice the length of Remember Me (60,000 words). I made it just shy of 15,000 before putting it on the shelf.

I'm thinking of going with a different method.

Header: Tags I'd use on the usual site for this type of thing.

Guntz has a Problem
A number of them, actually. -Sunday updates.-
Romance/Comedy
T (Teen) - Language and Mild Suggestive Theme Warning.
Bonus Chapter 8.5 would be posted by itself with an M (Mature) rating.

Character Tags: Klonoa, Lolo, Popka, Guntz
 
Format: The story would be written from Guntz's perspective in a form similar to journal entries. Each chapter would be about a certain day approximately one month from the previous chapter. The beginning of the chapter would be 3-4 paragraphs to tell the reader about how things went in the previous month. Then we'd go over the entire day for the chosen chapter. Finally it'd be bookended by another 1-2 paragraphs that summed up Guntz's feelings.

The story takes place approximately three years after Klonoa Heroes and over the course of a year.

Act 1 – Winter
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

2. The Problem with Lolo - " The Homecoming "

Guntz has settled into his new home in Breezegale. This is the day that Klonoa has come back from the Sky Temple with Lolo. Klonoa and Lolo seem to be rather excited about something and barely acknowledge their other friends. Guntz isn't surprised that Klonoa is preoccupied with his friends. He is surprised more at himself for being irritated by such a thing. When they were partners on the road Guntz seemed to be the center of Klonoa's envy and attention. He does not want to believe that he actually enjoyed being admired rather than feared.

Soon after Klonoa notices Guntz and greets him warmly. They agree to go to Bell Hill to catch up on things. Guntz is relieved at first, but when the conversation gradually shifts towards Lolo he becomes upset and leaves. He is not sure why he is upset but he knows that he is jealous.

The mystery is dispelled by Popka who caught the tail end of their exchange. Popka tells Guntz candidly that he is jealous of Klonoa's closeness to Lolo. Incidentally, Popka is also not happy with how close the two childhood friends have become. Popka suggests that Klonoa and Lolo may have romantic feelings for one another. Guntz brushed off the possibly verbally -- but truthfully feels uneasy.

On the way home he runs into Lolo. Lolo is surprised to see him and that he's living in Breezegale now. After a tense silence Lolo moves to formally thank Guntz for saving the world from Natabomb and assisting in her rescue. Embarrassed by her formality Guntz tries play down his involvement and tell her that he only did what he felt was right. Lolo tells him that is the entire point. He acted heroically even though the situation grew beyond his scope and goals. Lolo tells him with a smile that he should be proud of himself and what he has accomplished.

At that moment Guntz realizes that he has no reason to be mad at Lolo and apologizes himself. When she asks for what he hurriedly muttered " for being stupid " before heading home.

Aside - I went back and forth with myself about whether or not Klonoa and Lolo should be involved romantically. In this version of the draft they were not. In the final version of Home they were and broke up about a year before Guntz moved to Breezegale. I wanted to avoid the possible unpleasantness of a Love Triangle and make it explicitly clear that Klonoa, Guntz, and Lolo were friends.
 
3. The Problem with Popka - " The Wingman "

Once a month the villagers of Breezegale make a weekend trip to the neighboring city of Jugkettle to deliver goods and buy supplies. Since there are not many in Breezegale with combat experience they are usually escorted by an experienced Hero. The usual escort, Klonoa, is unable to lead the group as he is suffering from Insomfulenza. It is a Lunatean illness that is not life threatening but requires the victim to rest in isolation for a week. Guntz volunteers to escort the group in his stead as he also needs supplies. His partner is Popka whom oversaw the trip while Klonoa was away on his adventures previously.

Popka's scouting isn't going so well because he is distracted. Frustrated, Guntz calls him down from flying and asks him what his problem is. Popka laments that Lolo will return to La-Rooska in two weeks. Guntz suggests that he go to La-Rooska with her but Popka shuts down the idea as being " awkward " if he doesn't tell her why. He suggests that Popka tell her and Popka angrily asks why he doesn't just tell Klonoa. " Well, he's not here. But she is. " Popka agrees that it's now or never.

Lolo doesn't understand Popka's sudden change in behavior once they arrive in Jugkettle. Popka's (hilarious) attempts at wooing her fail. When Guntz steps in to help it leads to a misunderstanding where Lolo thinks that Guntz has a crush on her. Guntz decides to run with it thinking that jealousy might spur Popka into better action. It works, and Lolo returns his feelings. Lolo invites Popka to join her in La-Rooska when her vacation ends.

The chapter ends with Guntz admitting that he is neither good nor comfortable with helping others yet. Popka tells him not to think of it as helping others. That this helped further his own goals. That does not make him feel any better.

Aside - I was surprised no one asked me what happened to Popka in the final version of Home. He was mentioned and never seen, right? I'll cover the subject in a future spinoff. [/spoiler]
 
Act 2 – Spring
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Act 3 – Summer
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Act 4 – Fall
 
10. The Problem with Janga - Death's Call
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
« Last Edit: September 18, 2016, 01:21:34 PM by Mobotropolis »

Offline Artsy

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Re: Mobotropolis' Writing Den (Scrapped and WIP Material)
« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2016, 01:01:57 AM »
I never get tired of reading your writing  :bad_straight_face:

I can't wait to see how this all develops..!

Offline Fennekin

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Re: Mobotropolis' Writing Den (Scrapped and WIP Material)
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2016, 02:27:40 AM »
Spoilers tabs, please. I'm on mobile, it hurts to scroll through this much text.  :sick:


Offline Mobotropolis

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Re: Mobotropolis' Writing Den (Scrapped and WIP Material)
« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2016, 12:50:58 PM »
I thought about that, but couldn't really decide the best way to divide it up into Spoiler Tabs.

It's going to be a wall of text regardless. :big_smile:

Edit: I split it into fourths. Maybe that'll help.
« Last Edit: September 18, 2016, 01:22:12 PM by Mobotropolis »

Offline Mobotropolis

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Re: Mobotropolis' Writing Den (Scrapped and WIP Material)
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2016, 08:29:52 PM »
Evenin'.

Here's some leftovers from stories I am not finishing:

Codename: Courage
Characters: Lolo, Leorina, and Tat
Notes: This one's related to Home and explores Lolo's relationship with Leorina and Tat.
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.


Codename: Cornered
Characters: Janga and Joka
Notes: Thought the setup was too long, though, and would cut pretty much everything I've written if I finished.
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.


Codename: Freefall
Characters: Lolo
Notes: Work on the Anniversary-fic series. I decided to keep the prompt but try it with another pair of characters.
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.


Codename: Awakening.
Characters: Klonoa and Lolo
Starring: Not-My-Ship
Notes: More work on the Anniversary-fic series. I thought the premise was too dark/depressing to work for what should be a lighthearted series. Not abandoning the concept completely, though.
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.


Codename: First Blood
Characters: Guntz, Janga, and Butz
Notes: This one was actually completed (!) -- but I was not satisfied with the quality or the writing or characterization. Here are some of the better parts.
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.


Scene 2 - First Blood
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Scene 3 - First Blood
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Codename: Again
Characters: Huepow
Also Starring: LORE
Notes: Even more work on the Anniversary-fic series. Another idea that is not-quite-dead. Heroes-verse Huepow has a story to tell:
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Offline Mobotropolis

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Re: Mobotropolis' Writing Den (Scrapped and WIP Material)
« Reply #6 on: October 06, 2016, 11:12:40 PM »
Made a small update to the First Post to give more details. I'll likely update again after the weekend.

Here's some snippets of things to come and things that are coming but not quite in this way.

Take a guess!

Codename: Vows
Ya'll gonna be mad at me for this.
From the Semi-Final need to edit because I saw errors already version.
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

Codename: Dance
Going to trim this bit out of the story so here we go.
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

Codename: Playtime
Since this ship is getting an extended treatment I wasn't going to one-shot it, but I found a prompt that was too good to pass up and didn't quite fit in with the others.
Also >> IMPLYING (?)
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Offline Mobotropolis

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Re: Mobotropolis' Writing Den (Scrapped and WIP Material)
« Reply #7 on: November 01, 2016, 07:17:09 PM »
I've been asked to give an update, so the first post has been updated with progress/cleaning up.

I've stopped working on the Series for a bit to dive into the bigger story. Not ready to share any additional information about that story since it's still in the early stages.

About the series, though.

Yep; it is a Shipping Series for Valentines Week.

Nope. I'm not sharing the pairings for each chapter. 

I will, however, post some material from the three stories that have been completed since The Vow.

The Goodbye
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.


The Date
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.


The Dance
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.


I'll soon be looking for a Beta Reader or two for this and the bigger-story to check for obvious errors and give their opinion on the narrative. I have a few people in mind but need a bit more time to prepare the material.

Offline Tortwag

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Re: Mobotropolis' Writing Den (Scrapped and WIP Material)
« Reply #8 on: December 09, 2016, 04:58:04 AM »
Stuff to read from other writers in this place! Awesome. Funny, too: I was about to post a topic relating to my activities for the forums (writing and drawing projects), so maybe I should follow that beautiful example you're givin' here. I'll have to read your pieces though, it all looks interesting so far :3 (only started readin' Act 1: Winter, so got a long way to go)
Currently writing a Klonoa-themed fanfiction called Crusaders of Pugiland! Discover it here: https://forums.untamedheart.us/?topic=1462.0

Also started an art topic for said fanfiction, which you can find right here: https://forums.untamedheart.us/?topic=1877.msg26101#msg26101

Offline Mobotropolis

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Re: Mobotropolis' Writing Den (Scrapped and WIP Material)
« Reply #9 on: January 29, 2017, 10:02:24 PM »
Oh wow. It's been a while.

Like most other people who have posted around here I got hit hard by the business of the holiday season/winter quarter. The holidays are usually a busy time for me IRL because I host Thanksgiving and Christmas. That was complicated by two unexpected complications at work that doubled my workload during what was supposed to be the " Slow Season ". The extra work made it difficult to find time and energy to devote to writing.

I missed my self-imposed deadline of New Years -- but now that the holidays are behind us I've found the extra time to catch up on my writing.

The Valentines Series will release on schedule. The first part will be releasing February 12th with a new one-shot every day until February 18th. The longer story is still coming, but sometime after that series.

A little one line tease from what I've finished some last time. Anything more would spoil the pairing.

The Proposal (was formerly called The Engagement)
Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

Quote
I was about to post a topic relating to my activities for the forum

Posting publicly keeps me motivated to keep working on things.
I do love getting feedback during and after the fact.

I am still mulling around the idea of having a Beta Reader or two. I am also open to the idea of Beta Reading other people's stuff since I've seen more stories posted recently. I think that's great. I also think it would be great to review each others stuff and give constructive criticism.