Beta Version of " Home "
In the Spring something or another revived my interest in writing for a certain fandom. I think I came across some cute art and started a stockpile that got the wheels turning again. In any case, I went back to the hole of fanfiction and re-read pretty much everything in the section. Since there were less than 200 stories and most were short-form it didn't take much longer than two weeks. I also read the forum posts and most of the reviews.
In particular I found a review that I had written for a short story called Thanks to You
. That story inspired me to start thinking up a spinoff. The general idea was to make a sequel to Heroes that took place between the time our group returned from the Moon to Klonoa's death in this story. The story like Thanks to You would be about Guntz, not Klonoa, and his difficulties adjusting to having a normal life. Since by the author's own admission it was supposed to be a shipping fic I did the outline with a romantic angle but sought to divert from certain things common with this pairing.
I started out with three goals: 1. Lighter and Softer.
To not mince words ... the majority of Klonoa/Guntz fics out there are angsty. Even my own couldn't escape it completely. The first goal was to write a story with tension where neither side was particularly angsty. The first draft of this had a bittersweet ending that I revised into something more positive. There are author notes below. 2. Romance from Guntz's perspective.
Another common trend in this pairing is that Klonoa is often the one to initiate first contact since he's more outgoing. We also don't get much into how Guntz feels about things. Since this story is told from Guntz's perspective I aimed to portray a character that was gradually falling in love, reluctant to act, and then accepting of their growing feelings. 3. Things are better for Lolo. @Artsy
was right. Shippers of this particular flavor tend to treat the romantic rival (Lolo) like trash. The one thing that bothered me the most in the previous story was Lolo's treatment. I wanted to mend the relationship between these three characters who should be friends and thought I was mostly successful in the outline. I'm actually going to go further in future works since I have come around and want them to all be friends.
After starting the outline I added a fourth goal that will not be shared or spoken of in great detail here. I wanted to tackle another aspect that is not typically covered in a bonus chapter and actually got pretty far in a draft of it. Why This Was Shelved:
It was a battle from the very beginning trying to get this thing off the ground. The outline came together in about a week. A few days later I started writing out chapters but found myself struggling to reach my quotas. The finished story was supposed to be about twice the length of Remember Me (60,000 words). I made it just shy of 15,000 before putting it on the shelf.
I'm thinking of going with a different method.
Header: Tags I'd use on the usual site for this type of thing.
Guntz has a Problem
A number of them, actually. -Sunday updates.-
T (Teen) - Language and Mild Suggestive Theme Warning.
Bonus Chapter 8.5 would be posted by itself with an M (Mature) rating.
Character Tags: Klonoa, Lolo, Popka, Guntz
Format: The story would be written from Guntz's perspective in a form similar to journal entries. Each chapter would be about a certain day approximately one month from the previous chapter. The beginning of the chapter would be 3-4 paragraphs to tell the reader about how things went in the previous month. Then we'd go over the entire day for the chosen chapter. Finally it'd be bookended by another 1-2 paragraphs that summed up Guntz's feelings.
The story takes place approximately three years after Klonoa Heroes and over the course of a year. Act 1 – Winter 2. The Problem with Lolo - " The Homecoming "
Guntz has settled into his new home in Breezegale. This is the day that Klonoa has come back from the Sky Temple with Lolo. Klonoa and Lolo seem to be rather excited about something and barely acknowledge their other friends. Guntz isn't surprised that Klonoa is preoccupied with his friends. He is surprised more at himself for being irritated by such a thing. When they were partners on the road Guntz seemed to be the center of Klonoa's envy and attention. He does not want to believe that he actually enjoyed being admired rather than feared.
Soon after Klonoa notices Guntz and greets him warmly. They agree to go to Bell Hill to catch up on things. Guntz is relieved at first, but when the conversation gradually shifts towards Lolo he becomes upset and leaves. He is not sure why he is upset but he knows that he is
The mystery is dispelled by Popka who caught the tail end of their exchange. Popka tells Guntz candidly that he is jealous of Klonoa's closeness to Lolo. Incidentally, Popka is also not happy with how close the two childhood friends have become. Popka suggests that Klonoa and Lolo may have romantic feelings for one another. Guntz brushed off the possibly verbally -- but truthfully feels uneasy.
On the way home he runs into Lolo. Lolo is surprised to see him and that he's living in Breezegale now. After a tense silence Lolo moves to formally thank Guntz for saving the world from Natabomb and assisting in her rescue. Embarrassed by her formality Guntz tries play down his involvement and tell her that he only did what he felt was right. Lolo tells him that is the entire point. He acted heroically even though the situation grew beyond his scope and goals. Lolo tells him with a smile that he should be proud of himself and what he has accomplished.
At that moment Guntz realizes that he has no reason to be mad at Lolo and apologizes himself. When she asks for what he hurriedly muttered " for being stupid " before heading home. Aside
- I went back and forth with myself about whether or not Klonoa and Lolo should be involved romantically. In this version of the draft they were not. In the final version of Home
they were and broke up about a year before Guntz moved to Breezegale. I wanted to avoid the possible unpleasantness of a Love Triangle and make it explicitly clear that Klonoa, Guntz, and Lolo were friends. 3. The Problem with Popka - " The Wingman "
Once a month the villagers of Breezegale make a weekend trip to the neighboring city of Jugkettle to deliver goods and buy supplies. Since there are not many in Breezegale with combat experience they are usually escorted by an experienced Hero. The usual escort, Klonoa, is unable to lead the group as he is suffering from Insomfulenza. It is a Lunatean illness that is not life threatening but requires the victim to rest in isolation for a week. Guntz volunteers to escort the group in his stead as he also needs supplies. His partner is Popka whom oversaw the trip while Klonoa was away on his adventures previously.
Popka's scouting isn't going so well because he is distracted. Frustrated, Guntz calls him down from flying and asks him what his problem is. Popka laments that Lolo will return to La-Rooska in two weeks. Guntz suggests that he go to La-Rooska with her but Popka shuts down the idea as being " awkward " if he doesn't tell her why. He suggests that Popka tell her and Popka angrily asks why he doesn't just tell Klonoa. " Well, he's not here. But she is. " Popka agrees that it's now or never.
Lolo doesn't understand Popka's sudden change in behavior once they arrive in Jugkettle. Popka's (hilarious) attempts at wooing her fail. When Guntz steps in to help it leads to a misunderstanding where Lolo thinks that Guntz
has a crush on her. Guntz decides to run with it thinking that jealousy might spur Popka into better action. It works, and Lolo returns his feelings. Lolo invites Popka to join her in La-Rooska when her vacation ends.
The chapter ends with Guntz admitting that he is neither good nor comfortable with helping others yet. Popka tells him not to think of it as helping others. That this helped further his own goals. That does not make him feel any better. Aside
- I was surprised no one asked me what happened to Popka in the final version of Home
. He was mentioned and never seen, right? I'll cover the subject in a future spinoff. [/spoiler] Act 2 – SpringAct 3 – SummerAct 4 – Fall 10. The Problem with Janga - Death's Call