Oh, boy! A new member! Let's see, what could I possibly do to make this introduction special? Hmm...I guess I can just check my list.
*Say, "Waphilio!". *Mention that i's been a while sine I've greeted someone with "Waphilio!".
*Speak entirely in Phantmilian.
*Sing Klonoa Forums-based parody of "Candy Mountain" song from Charlie the Unicorn.
*Reference Solatorobo. Somehow.
*Fangasm over the prescence of new RPer on forums. *Mention that I'm the "Wacky Uncle" of the forums *RP as Sable the Lucario while greeting newcomer.
*RP as Alex the Zoroark while greeting the newcomer.
*Make light of the newcomers name in a fun and interesting manner.
*DO THE MARIO!
*Greet them on Shoutbox instead, because they never actually post. *Helpfully point out to the newcomer about the Rules, BBCode FAQ (Bragging about making said FAQ optional), and all the other fun parts of the forum. *Mention the Klonoa Fan Club, to many people's disdain... *Reference Pokemon Myster Dungeon. Somehow. *Recommend reading through the Klonoa Manga
*Recommend reading through the Klonoa Shiftylook Comic
*Take over the world.
*Mention that Klonoa Wii came with a coupon for a free fish taco...for some reason. *Use the word "Enjoyens".
*Make "Enjoyens" a real word.
*Fangasm about seeing a newcomer's creative talents. *Mention that I used to be a lurker on the forums before becoming a member *Tell them that everyone on here is a nice person. *Say that we're at least better than Miiverse >.> *Complain about Sm4sh's "Lackluster" +400 soundtrack. *Mention how crazy the Shoutbox is. *Mention how crazy the Shoutbox WAS.
*Rant about shoutbox being weekend only. I mean, why not Fri- OH. I should save that for ACTUALLY greeting people. Carry on, then.
*Recommend any number of Klonoa games (specifically, Klonoa 2: LV). *Boast about this being the BEST forum for Klonoa discussions. *Reassure them that they'll fit right in. *Say the word "Jazz" at some point. *Bring up the Klonoa Skype Chat, and mention possibly adding other forum-goers on Skype *Tell them NOT TO FEED THE BEARS.
*Reference Transformice. Somehow.
*Take a jab at Namco about how advertisements DO work. *Partially beg someone to join my RP *Fangasm in excitement that someone I recommended to the forums actually came onto the forums. *Give them a new and memorable (in a good way) nickname.
*RP as BOTH Alex and Sable, and have them fuse together and battle some sort of evil monster thing, just to confuse said newcomer for fun and profit.
*Mention there's been a lot of new members lately. *Jokingly inform them that THEY'RE HERE FOREVER. *Say that said person would get along well with another (Usually nub_hat) *Mention the Last Poster Topic. *Just fangasming in general.
*Reference this very list when greeting other newcomers in some shape or form.
*Just say "Welcome". <--I'm not very fond of that one...
*Make long and unnecessary list of things I've done and am going to do while greeting newcomers, in order to make an impression on the one whom I'm greeting
*Push out a "Living in the now" Morale
*Fangasm over Klonoa sculptures
...I think I'll go with those last three. in any case, Waphilio!
...YOU GOTTA SHOW US YOUR SCULPTURES WHEN YOU MAKE THEM! OH MY GOODNESS, THAT WOULD JUST BE SO COOL! *squee*