Well since you asked for honesty, here goes some constructive criticism:
I think you might be taking the forum too seriously, the cloud pattern thing also makes me think you might be a bit obsessive with certain things. Also putting up an avatar like that probably doesn't help your relation with forum members. Some might just find it funny, others might not. In my opinion, you need to think more about what you say/do before doing it, instead of acting solely on bursts of emotion.
To the point though, Daemyn said it perfectly, you really seem insecure about yourself, you worry too much about what people think of you. I mean it's good to accept a healthy dose of constructive criticism, we can be oblivious to our own mistakes from time to time, but in the end it's best you should make your own opinion, and not try to shape yourself as to what others expect/want you to be. I see so many people doing that.