The Klonoa Wiimake made a fatal mistake in renaming Joka. It better not happen again.

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Author Topic: Klonoa Theory  (Read 1301 times)

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Offline Alexinator

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Klonoa Theory
« on: February 01, 2016, 07:27:16 PM »
The original Klonoa died while on his way to Lunatea.

Joka stole the DeLorean Time Machine from Doc and went back in time after his defeat in Klonoa: Door to Phantomile and used the Jedi Mind Trick (He was taught this by Obi Wan Kenobi during the Clone Wars in Star Wars Episode II) to trick Huepow and everyone else into getting Klonoa to save Phantomile.

Joka wanted to save Phantomile so he could return it to Hitler (He was the original owner of Phantomile)

Hitler could not do it himself so he sent the Robo Pirates from Rayman 2 to force Joka and Ghadius to do it.

Klonoa was actually a Half pony/half ninja warrior from Mars in a previous life and he was reincarnated as Klonoa.

His mother Batman, sent him to Phantomile before their home planet was blown up by Sonic and Tails, who were working for Organization XIII.

They did this as revenge for Batman trapping them in Nova Prospekt for Ten Billion years.

Ben Stiller and Jack Black were the leaders of Organization XIII and were Hitler's boss.

Megatron was controlling Klonoa from the moment he entered Phantomile and had Osama Bin Laden blow up the Twin Towers as a cover up.

Megatron was Joka's ex wife and he wanted to beat Joka.

Ghadius and Eggman killed Megatron before he got the chance and Eggman preformed a brain transplant on Klonoa and his twin brother Clonoa.

Clonoa's brain was put in Klonoa and he took over Klonoa's body.

Klonoa was then sent to Lunatea after Ghadius's defeat.

The reason he was sent there was to convert everyone to satanism.

Pewdiepie was controlling Joka and Ghadius and did this.

Cory Baxter chose Pewdiepie.
« Last Edit: February 01, 2016, 07:44:12 PM by Alexinator »

Offline Braixen

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Re: Klonoa Theory
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2016, 07:45:02 PM »
My theory is that the Klonoa series is actually just a fever dream from Cory Baxter after eating some old cotton balls from the corner of the garage. FOR EXAMPLE, THERE IS NO KLONOA 3, NOR IS THERE A HALF-LIFE 3, AND NO ONE KNOWS IF EITHER GAME IS IN DEVELOPMENT OR NOT. 3+3=6, AND IF YOU SUBTRACT 3 FROM SIX, YOU GET 3. TRIANGLE BOY HAS 3 EYES, AND IF YOU REMOVE 2 FROM 3, THEN YOU GET 1. TRIANGLE BOY HAS 1 SIDE.
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Offline Randomizer

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Re: Klonoa Theory
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2016, 11:28:49 PM »
You, good sir, deserve this trophy. :lookinleft:



Offline Meguumin

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Re: Klonoa Theory
« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2016, 01:48:42 AM »
NEVER forget that the only reason Lolo followed Klonoa was to enlighten him on Jehovah's Witness

Offline Alexinator

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Re: Klonoa Theory
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2016, 01:35:58 PM »
kek

Offline Sable-Xeno

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Re: Klonoa Theory
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2016, 03:21:59 PM »
I rate this fan theory 7.8/10. You get 1 point deducted for not having Gaster implemented, and 1.2 points deducted for not having enough water.

Seriously, kids. Stay hydrated.

Artwork drawn by Somnax (FA), 5th Gen Pokemon sprite bases made by Pokemon-Diamond (DA).

Offline Dimitri

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Re: Klonoa Theory
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2016, 10:30:08 PM »
This is incredible. I only wish I had slightly more weed to smoke or I would contribute something to it.
I registered in 2015 as part of a roleplaying game and proceeded to never do anything of importance. Oops?